The minute you put a “need” in front of what you’ve been called to do, you subconsciously create a block between yourself and that thing/experience
Last night, a project that I had fully drafted out last May popped back into my awareness. I haven’t thought about it in almost an entire year. I have an outline for exactly how it should be created and just never started the actual work on it.
So boom, the thought of actually birthing the project comes. It’s a subtle nudge. Like, hey, remember that one thing you started last year?! Well, it’s time to finish it. My immediate response was oh yeahhhh how could I forget about it. Yes, I’m on it! My mind then jumped on the scene and was like well you “need” this and that, and you can’t start until… - all things that I in fact do not need to start.
I watched these thought forms play out as if I was watching a movie. From the perspective of witness I was able to truly look at what my mind/ego and thoughts were doing. They were working together to keep me “safe”, uncomfortably comfortable; very familiar territory.
Where I am now, the next steps include coming out of proverbial hiding. I’ve been safely tucked a way, healing, unraveling, and sharing myself in very small doses in very small circles but what is being required and requested now includes the exposure of my more sensitive spots, my underbelly. The spaces that brought the shame, guilt, self loathing, trauma, depression.
These imaginary “needs” are creative ways to keep me from another level of expansion. One that runs the risk of changing peoples perspective of me and my perspective of myself. However an admittance of all the trauma I’ve passed through and all the dark and vibrance that came with it feels like the next right thing for me.
This whole experience really made me think about how often this happens to me? How many times have I subconsciously created a block between myself and growth? How many times have I convinced myself that some imaginary “need” (lack) was the reason I couldn’t or shouldn’t pursue or proceed ahead? Will I continue to live in the mind that is programmed to lack or will I dare to tap into the truth of my abundance and resourcefulness? I offer you these same questions. To contemplate and ponder on.
What does your mind automatically turn to when the prospect of growth and expansion calls you?
When the next step requires you to stretch, do you default to lack by looking for something “missing” to cling to so you can stay in your cocoon of “safety” which probably feels more suffocating than comforting at this point.
I hope that if you found resonance with this that you take the time to look at your programming and patterns. I pray that if there is something that has been calling from afar for you that you find ways to tap into the truth of your endless abundance springs. There is courage and power within you that is waiting to explode into your awareness and life.
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